First off you need the back story. Madalyn was by far is still is by far the most affected from my divorce with her father. She remembers us being married and has a huge sense of loyalty to that past family. An immense amount of pressure is put on her by her paternal side of the family when it comes to loyalty to her father. This makes it very hard for her to let go and just enjoy her family. As an eight year old at times it feels as though she is caring the weight of the world on her shoulders. As a mother this is the hardest thing I have ever watched. It takes a large amount of self control in order to keep my cool and not lash out like I used to at the parties involved. Today I pray. I pray for them personally that their hearts are softened to our new "family" dynamic. I pray that we can all find peace with each other. I pray that success is brought to my ex-husband so that he is able to find some independence and help support our daughters. I say these prayers alone and with the kids so that they are aware that I have compassion for the man they call daddy.
Since we have joined the church I have seen such a change within our family dynamic (meaning inside my house). But one of the people that I have seen make such a huge change is my darling Madalyn. She is happy. Genuinely HAPPY! She has little worries then she did before on a daily basis. She is enjoying her life. She is enjoying her friends. She is building healthy relationships with her peers. She is so respectful. She is compassionate for everyone around her. She relies on her faith to get her through her hard and emotional times.
For instance she had her second visit with her father and paternal grandmother over this past weekend. Upon drop off she just came into the house and jumped back into our family routine. This never happened before. There was always some acting out when she came home. Then later that night both her and Julia were upset with their dads current situation (I will keep this private as it is his story to tell). They have a fear he is leaving for love and they are being lost in the shuffle. I walked in the room and through their tears they were praying. My soul was rocked to the core. My daughters are using their faith for comfort, for blessing and to for others. Now in order to calm them down Hubby and I both talked to them and then I continued to pray for them including all the moving factors in their fathers life hoping the lord blesses him on the girls behalf.
Not only is her faith helping her through the day and not only is she relying on prayer she has made a conscious decision to study and try and live by the gospel. Her attitude has done a 180. Her level of respect for Hubby and me has made an immeasurable improvement. She is putting others before her self. She is helpful around the house. Her focus in school is phenomenal. Her study habits have improved and she is doing homework everyday as soon as she walks through the door and when she is finished she helps Julia.
She has also made the conscious decision to study and take the lessons with the missionaries. She meets with them weekly and we always prepare together the night before. She is an active participant and soaks it all in!!! Its just amazing to watch. She is preparing herself for baptismal. She is building her testimony day by day.
I am so thankful for my faith. For what it has done for my family and my children.
Love -N
No comments:
Post a Comment