What is "Rest" Exactly?!

For those of you who didn't know I just had a hysterectomy (partial)!!!! 

I was under the assumption that it would be a fairly quick recovery with one nights stay in the hospital. I was so, so, so wrong! It has been an uphill climb from day one. 

To start, I hate hospitals. Since my near one month stint in one a couple of years ago.... I was so anxious to be out not thinking or considering of what the painful consequences may be for me when I got home. first off I am so stubborn! I refuse t sit down when I am home and have too. All thanks to painkillers, I could suppress the pain and move around as freely as I would like.... BAD IDEA! It was so hard to watch my mom doing things around my house. I wanted to get up and help her. I have a whole routine I am now settled into with keeping the house picked up and I really wanted to do that. So silly I know. I had people over, did studies and helped around the house! I did no sleeping at all. 

On the second week my in-laws came into town to help. Again it was nearly impossible to have them cleaning. I would get up at 2:00 AM so that I could re-do the kitchen and take my father-in-laws wash cloth out of the sink because the germs terrify me. I also became obsessed with the bathrooms and the laundry. For once in my life I am caught up with laundry.... We all have a system in our closets and it is working!!!!! I was terrified to lose that... I feel like if I lose it I will never ever get it back. It's a huge accomplishment on my part (happy dance). 

Linda, the laundry you folded and put in a basket is still waiting for Hubby to put away in the corner of our bedroom. It has been picked over many times and I am pretty sure nothing is folded in it anymore. Lesson learned, I've stayed caught up with the rest of the laundry. 

It so happens that during my recovery I had a family member pass away that lives here in Colorado. I decided that I would prepare and go to the funeral on my own with all three kids and get the house ready for my Grandparents to stay with me for a few days. It was the first time they would be seeing our new house and I really wanted them to love it and be proud of us for the big step forward we took moving here to Colorado. WORST IDEA. My lack of sleep and "rest" as the doctors keep calling it finally caught up with me. I started experiencing complications and the more I moved around the worse it got. Google is the most terrifying thing ever.... I reached out to friends and family who have had a hysterectomy and everyone assured me that what I was experiencing was NOT normal. In comes my first visit to the doctor. 

Did I mention that decided to use the doctor that saw me when I was pregnant with Madalyn and happens to be nearly an hour away.  I made what now felt like a trek into Colorado Springs to go see what was happening to me. 

According to my Dr. I needed to take it easy and I was going to be totally fine. I just needed to "rest." Now of course I was dealing with some new symptoms from my exam which I felt were perfectly normal. I was down for a day! By the next day I was up and at it again. My grandparents where here I was excited to see them, show them the house and just spend some quality time with them..... They stayed the night and went on to my Great-Uncles house the next day to help with the funeral. 

On that next day I literally thought my guts were falling out of me..... I was terrified. Hubby was terrified. I am on the phone with the doctors office trying to explain to them what is happening! I called family and friends who have experienced this and felt after reasonable deductions that I was not going to die and that my guts where more then likely still intact. I decided to stick with a doctors appointment the next day instead of a visit to the ER. This made lots of people nervous. And there I went the next day back to Colorado Springs (with Hubby this time) to find out what on earth was happening to me? Turns out I was losing the clotting agent from surgery. Nothing to alarming BUT, I need to "rest." Needless to say I would not be attending the funeral and Brent would be staying home to keep me on lock-down. It also meant that my Grandparents came the day after the funeral and made sure I stayed upstairs in a lying down position, kind of.... I still did the laundry. They were here with me from Saturday morning until Tuesday morning. I actually slept on Monday, all day as in I went to bed in the morning and didn't wake up until four in the afternoon. A total shock seeing as since the day of surgery I have been a complete insomniac and have not slept at all. 

I am surviving on minimal amounts of sleep and changing my clothes three times a night! How can you be so cold and then all of a sudden be so hot? This symptom is miserable by the way. Top three of the worst symptoms of anything, ever.

What I did't know was that Monday was a precursor to what was about to happen. By Tuesday at noon I was weak, exhausted and in an insane amount of pain.  I literally could not carry Olivia up the stairs. I could hardly get myself up them to be honest. I dug out the thermometer and checked to see if I had a fever and I did.  I knew this time I needed to go to the ER. Even when Hubby suggested I go to Urgent Care something inside of me said, NO! When he got home I got up and drove myself to the ER (Thank you, Holly Ghost). 

Just a quick note, every time I called my doctor or went in they ask if I had been experiencing a fever! With out hesitation my immediate response was, no. Turns out I should actually check for that symptom when calling a doctor.  

When I got there and the Doctor did the initial exam  he thought my appendix may have an infection. Apparently I displayed every classic symptom of this scenario. I was dehydrated and beat up. I was staring down the barrel of another surgery, fantastic! Turns out after a ton of tests and a CT scan that it was not in fact my appendix it was an viral infection in my lower intestines. There is no way urgent care would have found that. It took a CT scan to find what was going on. I would have displayed those "classic" symptoms and been sent on to the ER (again, thank you Holly Ghost). That was an additional $100 we didn't have to spend. I was packed full of anti-nausea medicine and something for the pain and sent home. Don't worry I didn't drive. Hubby came to get me and we left my car there until today in-fact. I was also sent home with strict instructions to "rest"! I felt like a truck ran me over yesterday. I continued with the fever and added the additional symptom of not being able to hold anything down. 

Did you know that if you drink the syrup of a caned fruit it coats your stomach so that you can hold down fluids? Yup, you read that right, the nurse at my Doctors office told me that. She also said that water is the hardest on your stomach in these situations. Who would have thought. 

I was told I may have to go back in the evening to have another bag of fluid. No way was I doing that again. I forced liquids in and breathed through it to keep them down in the evening. I am feeling better today and am so ready for all this to be over. Turns out Olivia is sick and home with me and we are "resting" as best as we possibly can. 

So, what is rest exactly? I still have no idea. I suppose it is getting the day to sit all by myself and not move a muscle. When I am able to accomplish that am I "resting?" I cant turn my brain off from all things that need to be done. I can't turn the girls off even when the sound of another human breathing makes my head feel like its going to explode.... I am still so perplexed by such a word when you are a wife and a mother. 

Now the one element I have failed to mention is how I have held all of this together after our family has left? Thank God for my beautiful Sisters' from the Relief Society at Church. I am tearing up as I write this as I have never had anything like this in my entire life.... I have never had so much support from other women, EVER! I could not have held it together if it weren't for all of them.... Heart attacks on my front door (thank you to the girls' in Young Women's) and food for my family and I every night. A text, message or call from at least one person a day just checking to see if I need anything. Other moms who have their own kids to raise stopping what they are doing to help take care of mine! What an amazing blessing. Never in my wildest dreams could I have ever imagined this kind of support. Especially since they have only known me a couple of months!

When I started writing this I didn't mean for it to be any kind of testimony, it just happened. It was was supposed to be about my experience and to articulate how ridiculous  I can be.......Again, thank you, Holly Ghost. I want to thank each and every one of you for your thoughts, your prayers and your support! I would have not made it through this mentally intact without all of you. There are no amount of thank you's that could ever really show you how much I appreciate each and every one of you. 

Love -N

Ps- I am still doing the laundry!