Baptizing my family.....

After a year of membership into my faith I am eligible to start the process to enter one of the
most sacred places one can go. I caught a glimpse of the overwhelming power and beauty the Temple has to offer us as members today.

I spent last week starting to work on my families history. First off if you are not a member of the church you should invest in where you come from. It is so amazing to get to know the people that you come from. The places your families have lived and the people they were.

 I decided that my first time to the temple to do baptismal's for the dead had to be incredibly meaningful for me. That being said I didn't want to do random names this time around (someday I will but, for now my family has a lot of work to do). I went straight to people who mean the entire world to me, the Boylans. I did my homework and because of their diligence in filling the census from Ireland to now they made it rather easy for me. The data entry not so much....

Doing this was powerful for many reasons the first, I made a phone call to my paternal Grandmother who I know little about because I have no relationship with my father. I got to learn some things about her I would have never known otherwise. I am happy because of my faith I opened up a line of communication. Second I got to explain my faith and  bare a Testimony to family members as I gathered information about Great-Grandparents and ultimately received permission to baptize some of my family members. Two of these people are people who were a huge part of my life as a child into early adulthood and two who I have heard about my entire life.

The day for me started at 5:00am (no alarm required) its like they knew it was the day for them and they wanted me up. For those of you that don't' know me well I hate the mornings but, not today. The entire morning there was an overwhelming sense of emotion and company. It felt like I had a house full of people all morning. I teared up every so often for no apparent reason except an overwhelming sense of love. That is just the start of the day...

Any time I do anything within my faith for the first time I am very selective on who I choose to participate with me. I am ridiculously sentimental. I couldn't have found a more perfect person to show me what to do and experience it with.

There is an overwhelming sense of peace at the Temple. You can feel from the outside. You are overwhelmed with it inside. While there I watched a wife have her deceased husband baptized, all I have to say is tears!

When it was our turn it was just like it was one year ago when I did it for myself; a sheer sense spiritual joy (I just recognized the feeling this time). As they read my Great-grandmothers name I could feel her. I could see her just as I did as a child. She was waiting for me. He black hair and her purple outfit. She is still so perfect. Not only could I feel her I could still feel she was the same person and as feisty as ever. I know deep in my soul she accepted that baptismal. When I did my Great-great grandmother its like I could feel her meeting me for the first time. I have stared at her head stone for years, "Mother Mary". My Great-grandfather put her on a golden throne when he talked about her.

Then when it was the male member of my family turn to be baptized and I was able to watch I was staring my Great-grandfather in the face. He was in his ranch clothes and his eyes, I saw his eyes again. I could hear his voice and see the way he moved. As I write this I can close my eyes and see him again just like if he were right here. I was blessed to have him until I was 19 and I was even more blessed that I was so close to him. He was definitely ready. I also did his father and could feel them all. Its like after 12 years I got to say hello and feel him say, 'I love you.'

I took a moment to call my Grandparents this afternoon and let them know I had gone and they loved it. My Grandmother said she dreamed of Grandpa Tom last night.(he knew his big day was coming). I think it brought my Grandfather a sense of calm and peace as they did not have a relationship when he passed. My Grandma who know little about her mom asked me to please find what I can and do the same thing for her. I promised I would and will be back when the Temple opens next month to give a woman we all know little about an opportunity for salvation; more importantly give my Grandmother a sense of comfort.

Not only were we united as a family in our faith but it was renewed sense of my faith to make my testimony even stronger.

I leave these words with you in the name of Jesus Christ - Amen

Love -N

My Thirty Day Writing Chalange (Days 1 thru 10)

I know its been awhile and there has certainly been some changes in my life. Changes aside I am moving forward and getting through it and learning something everyday. I stumbled on this little "writing challenge" on some form of social media ten-days ago and said I was going to try it..... I feel like this would be really good for me right now. Some silly and some serious.  So, here I go day one through ten since I committed ten days ago.

Day No. 1- Five problems with social media? hmmmm.... First off it is highly addictive. I am guilty of it myself. I have found a way to market myself and what I do and it has become a constant companion throughout my day. Second, I believe there are to many forms of it. I mean really Snapchat (which I just joined), Twitter (I cant use), Facebook, Instagram; along with what seems like more and more. It all so time consuming. Third, it emotional disconnects us from people. We build online friendships today more often then real ones where a live human actually have a conversation with us. Not my thing but it is popular. If I like you I want to hang out with you and look at you in your face when we have a conversation. Fourth, there are kids out there far to young on it and it gets the into serious trouble and situations they are not emotionally or mentally prepared for. Fifth, we connect with people we would never connect with in real life. Its easier when you are staring at a picture and not a live person.

Day No. 2- My earliest memory? Many if none of you know I grew up in a home with Domestic Violence. My very first memories without going into to much detail for all the others involved were those that made me fearful and anxious. It has taken me my entire life to recognize what that has done to me and seek help for the fear and anxiety (note: if you or someone you know is a victim of Domestic Violence please seek help you can break the cycle, I did).

Day No. 3- My first love and first kiss- Wow, that one is an interesting topic. I was 13 when I had my first kiss. Something all my friends were doing and I was way behind the curve. His name was Eric and of course it was camping in Cow Creek. He was the friend of the family. Now that I think of it we were not monitored well at all while camping. My first love. I meet in downtown Santa Fe while riding in a limo with a bunch of girlfriends after a formal dance at school (again way to much freedom). He was my world until my Junior year of high school. Our relationship was limited to weekends exclusively as we went to different schools and had crazy school and extra curricular activities. The one thing I loved most about him was his family. I now enjoy, thanks to "social media", saying in touch with them and his mom is still one of the sweetest people I have ever met!

Day No. 4- Ten interesting facts about me-

1. I have been married twice.
2. I recently converted to the LDS faith.
3. I wanted to go to Law School and ended up in the building industry.... I think its genetic.
4. I had my first child at 21.
5. I grew up on a ranch for a lot of my life.
6. I can ride a horse. In fact its a passion.
7. I boulder. It is by far on of the few things that completely clears my head of all my worries and anxiety.
8. I am addicted to throw pillows.
9. I hate noise. This one make me laugh considering I have three kids and love kids in general.
10. Having a newborn baby is one of my favorite things in the world.

Day No 5- A place I would live but haven't-

This one is easy. A quaint town rich in history in Ireland or Europe. It would be a small house hundreds of years old. Just me and my books.

Day No 6- Some one who fascinates me and why? I am going to pass on this one for personal reasons. It not a particular person in a part of my generation and their behavior.

Day No. 7- What tattoos do I have and their meanings?

I have three. The first was a very rash decision rebelling. It is flor de le and it  symbolizes the working class of women in France. This hold huge significance to me as I am a hard worker and I come from a line of incredibly hard working well accomplished women.

The second says, "Forgiveness doesn't excuse their behavior. It prevents the from destroying your heart." This one means a lot. I have grown and continue to grow to forgive and move forward with my past as a child and most recently as a wife. There is a talk by a President of my church who made tis tattoo even more meaningful.

The third is the semi-colon. I have struggled with sever depression and anxiety my entire life and have choose to get the help I need to overcome this. I still have my ups and downs. I still get worked up in certain situations but  I have and continue to learn that I can cope and overcome each of  those moments.

Day No. 8- A book I love and one I didn't. I have never read a book I didn't like. Wait, I m lying. 1989 was horrible, thanks SJ (freshman English teacher)! I can get lost in just about any book.

Day No. 9- Skipping.

Day No. 10- I don't dislike a fruit. Not yet anyway!