Refresh.....

I have to admit I have completely abused, abandoned and neglected my body and more importantly my skin this summer. As many of you know for years I have been a huge advocate for treating the problem externally and internally. This past month I decided to take a leap of faith with dear and long time friend Laran (you can find the link to her page at the end of this post.

Day one technically started five-days ago but there has not been a ton of progress. My face seems to be rejecting everything I am putting into my body. So starting TODAY I am taking it back to the basics. Naturally I am sticking to the new routine I made the commitment to try. The investment is made and I am going to see this all the way through. Over the past few days my pores became very clogged. This resulted in the wort break-out I have had in years. We will name this reset day. You can see my skin has lost some of its glow and it clearly is not flawless anymore. I only have myself to blame. In order to be fair I did a round of micro-dermebrassion two weeks ago. This time I feel like it brought my summer of skin scandal all the way to the surface. Back to refresh day.....

Step 1- I cleansed my skin with my typical CerVe face wash I have used for years.
Step 2- I used a charcoal exfoliating cleanser.
Step 3- 20 min charcoal mask.

Once this was complete I wanted my pores really open so I could soften the debris in my pores and lose them up to be "pulled out". I used a combination of castor oil and almond oil and massaged into my skin. I did this to ensure that not only was I softening my debris I was moisturizing my skin so I don't over tax it or potentially burn my skin chemically. Upon completion of the massage I re-cleansed with warm water (CerVe).

Step 4'sh- I used an equal part water to apple cider vinegar to wipe my face off. Please see benefits of apple cider vinegar as a toner (http://www.naturallivingideas.com/5-reasons-to-wash-your-face-with-apple-cider-vinegar/).

Step 5- R&F Redefined Cleansing Mask.
Step 6-
Step 7- AM moisturizer mixed with toner. I did this to light the weight of the moisturizer.
Step 8- Eyelash boost.
Step 9- Eye cream.

My skin feels clean for the fresh start. Every two days I will make adjustments to this as my pores cleanse themselves and the R&F products have a chance to build a relationship with my skin.

As for treating my not so great skin problem internally as many of you know I am firm believer in Acne Face Mapping. If we only treat our bodies from the outside we are not actually treating the root cause of the issues.

I am back to taking a liver cleanser, salmon oil, probiotics, dandelion root and probiotics. I am committing to a two liter a day water intake. My largest commitment is I am back to health food and not easy food. I will post status at the end of the weekend. 

Meet Laran. Her contact information is below if you like my results or become interested in taking to her about your skin! 

https://www.facebook.com/laranbrandt

I'm a single mom!

This blog started three years ago. It began as a way to document a very special moment in my life. The pregnancy of my third daughter, Baby O. I loved filling each of you in and interacting with everyone as she grew within my belly. It evolved into something to document my life and the things I learned as I was a stay at home mom maneuvering such a new endeavor. It was a place that I was able to testify to finding my way as a Latter Day Saint. 

On that note here is a good one.... I recently encountered the most interesting things about being a "single mom" over the past two months. Rewind a couple months, I was offered a wonderful position in a wonderful company. At a company Christmas party when my three little ladies walked in behind me ready to mingle (there are days I think I should print them their own business cards). They were troopers. They sat through dinner, they socialized with adults, some forty years their senior. I was eventually approached and asked how I could ever do my job and be a mom? I have to admit I was taken aback a little. I have never had someone be so direct or forward about my "single" status. I was recently engaged in a conversation while helping serve in a case I care deeply for and an oder woman touched on single parents. In her defense she had no idea I was a mother much less a single one. She talked about what a tragedy it is to be a single parent. How sorry she feels for these children. At one point she did eventually asked if I had a family. She was shocked I said I had three daughters. I suspect she felt no need to ask my relationship, she just assumed based on my appearance and title there was no possible way I was a single mother. Well my sweet sweet lady, I AM A SINGLE MOTHER! It is a travesty? I don't think so, it was a choice I made for the better good of my family. It was a choice I made for the sake of my own daughters future relationships.

On that note this sweet woman, lets call her Ms. Jones was right. Being a single mom is hard but, so is being a married mom. Being a mom is hard. Just because its hard does not mean it is not without its reward. The accomplishments big or small are worth the occasional slammed door (I have a preteen). The hugs and kisses are worth cereal being spill every single morning! The "I love you game" is my favorite part of the day. It is worth waking up at 4am if I want to take a shower that includes not only getting to wash my hair but, have the luxury of blow drying it too. Its worth spilled cereal and guessing what I stepped on after they have a SMALL SNACK. Totally worth the mass amounts of lip gloss my three year old manages to swipe and hoard from me. She sure does look glamours most of the time.

So here are some recent stories that married or single will make you laugh....

1. Olivia decided that she was going to be a red unicorn today while I was in the shower (see what happens when you try to shower while they are awake). What I mean by red unicorn is that she colored her entire left arm and both feet red before her sister caught her..... Oh and I mean every inch. She gets points for not missing a single spot in the five min. she had to work on her new skin color. My shower was extended to include her being scrubbed for a second time and explaining to her she can be red. By the way red is my least favorite color.

2. Madalyn is a child of fact (Lord help me)! If she wants to have a conversation and has a case to prove she comes with evidence and facts. I finally had to admit today that Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, etc. are not real. You can't lie to someone who has evidence.... Jokes on her, she lost a tooth tonight and wanted cash. I got to say you tried leaving without brushing your teeth this morning. This Tooth Fairy doesn't pay for dirty teeth! Ha!!!

3. Julia my sweet little Julia. She is such a stereotypical girl. So much so she has now mastered the art of wearing a dress to school when the high is 29 degrees. Yes, you read that right she wore a dress in 29 degree weather today. I said, "you can't wear that its to cold." She came back with leggings and a sweater layered. She looked like something you would pin on Pinerest. When she walked in the door she stripped her layers off and turned up the heater. Why? Well I didn't tell her that she couldn't wear it inside. She just made sure inside was warm enough...

I hope you enjoy reading about them as much as I do watching them and writing about them!

Love - N

Baptizing my family.....

After a year of membership into my faith I am eligible to start the process to enter one of the
most sacred places one can go. I caught a glimpse of the overwhelming power and beauty the Temple has to offer us as members today.

I spent last week starting to work on my families history. First off if you are not a member of the church you should invest in where you come from. It is so amazing to get to know the people that you come from. The places your families have lived and the people they were.

 I decided that my first time to the temple to do baptismal's for the dead had to be incredibly meaningful for me. That being said I didn't want to do random names this time around (someday I will but, for now my family has a lot of work to do). I went straight to people who mean the entire world to me, the Boylans. I did my homework and because of their diligence in filling the census from Ireland to now they made it rather easy for me. The data entry not so much....

Doing this was powerful for many reasons the first, I made a phone call to my paternal Grandmother who I know little about because I have no relationship with my father. I got to learn some things about her I would have never known otherwise. I am happy because of my faith I opened up a line of communication. Second I got to explain my faith and  bare a Testimony to family members as I gathered information about Great-Grandparents and ultimately received permission to baptize some of my family members. Two of these people are people who were a huge part of my life as a child into early adulthood and two who I have heard about my entire life.

The day for me started at 5:00am (no alarm required) its like they knew it was the day for them and they wanted me up. For those of you that don't' know me well I hate the mornings but, not today. The entire morning there was an overwhelming sense of emotion and company. It felt like I had a house full of people all morning. I teared up every so often for no apparent reason except an overwhelming sense of love. That is just the start of the day...

Any time I do anything within my faith for the first time I am very selective on who I choose to participate with me. I am ridiculously sentimental. I couldn't have found a more perfect person to show me what to do and experience it with.

There is an overwhelming sense of peace at the Temple. You can feel from the outside. You are overwhelmed with it inside. While there I watched a wife have her deceased husband baptized, all I have to say is tears!

When it was our turn it was just like it was one year ago when I did it for myself; a sheer sense spiritual joy (I just recognized the feeling this time). As they read my Great-grandmothers name I could feel her. I could see her just as I did as a child. She was waiting for me. He black hair and her purple outfit. She is still so perfect. Not only could I feel her I could still feel she was the same person and as feisty as ever. I know deep in my soul she accepted that baptismal. When I did my Great-great grandmother its like I could feel her meeting me for the first time. I have stared at her head stone for years, "Mother Mary". My Great-grandfather put her on a golden throne when he talked about her.

Then when it was the male member of my family turn to be baptized and I was able to watch I was staring my Great-grandfather in the face. He was in his ranch clothes and his eyes, I saw his eyes again. I could hear his voice and see the way he moved. As I write this I can close my eyes and see him again just like if he were right here. I was blessed to have him until I was 19 and I was even more blessed that I was so close to him. He was definitely ready. I also did his father and could feel them all. Its like after 12 years I got to say hello and feel him say, 'I love you.'

I took a moment to call my Grandparents this afternoon and let them know I had gone and they loved it. My Grandmother said she dreamed of Grandpa Tom last night.(he knew his big day was coming). I think it brought my Grandfather a sense of calm and peace as they did not have a relationship when he passed. My Grandma who know little about her mom asked me to please find what I can and do the same thing for her. I promised I would and will be back when the Temple opens next month to give a woman we all know little about an opportunity for salvation; more importantly give my Grandmother a sense of comfort.

Not only were we united as a family in our faith but it was renewed sense of my faith to make my testimony even stronger.

I leave these words with you in the name of Jesus Christ - Amen

Love -N

My Thirty Day Writing Chalange (Days 1 thru 10)

I know its been awhile and there has certainly been some changes in my life. Changes aside I am moving forward and getting through it and learning something everyday. I stumbled on this little "writing challenge" on some form of social media ten-days ago and said I was going to try it..... I feel like this would be really good for me right now. Some silly and some serious.  So, here I go day one through ten since I committed ten days ago.

Day No. 1- Five problems with social media? hmmmm.... First off it is highly addictive. I am guilty of it myself. I have found a way to market myself and what I do and it has become a constant companion throughout my day. Second, I believe there are to many forms of it. I mean really Snapchat (which I just joined), Twitter (I cant use), Facebook, Instagram; along with what seems like more and more. It all so time consuming. Third, it emotional disconnects us from people. We build online friendships today more often then real ones where a live human actually have a conversation with us. Not my thing but it is popular. If I like you I want to hang out with you and look at you in your face when we have a conversation. Fourth, there are kids out there far to young on it and it gets the into serious trouble and situations they are not emotionally or mentally prepared for. Fifth, we connect with people we would never connect with in real life. Its easier when you are staring at a picture and not a live person.

Day No. 2- My earliest memory? Many if none of you know I grew up in a home with Domestic Violence. My very first memories without going into to much detail for all the others involved were those that made me fearful and anxious. It has taken me my entire life to recognize what that has done to me and seek help for the fear and anxiety (note: if you or someone you know is a victim of Domestic Violence please seek help you can break the cycle, I did).

Day No. 3- My first love and first kiss- Wow, that one is an interesting topic. I was 13 when I had my first kiss. Something all my friends were doing and I was way behind the curve. His name was Eric and of course it was camping in Cow Creek. He was the friend of the family. Now that I think of it we were not monitored well at all while camping. My first love. I meet in downtown Santa Fe while riding in a limo with a bunch of girlfriends after a formal dance at school (again way to much freedom). He was my world until my Junior year of high school. Our relationship was limited to weekends exclusively as we went to different schools and had crazy school and extra curricular activities. The one thing I loved most about him was his family. I now enjoy, thanks to "social media", saying in touch with them and his mom is still one of the sweetest people I have ever met!

Day No. 4- Ten interesting facts about me-

1. I have been married twice.
2. I recently converted to the LDS faith.
3. I wanted to go to Law School and ended up in the building industry.... I think its genetic.
4. I had my first child at 21.
5. I grew up on a ranch for a lot of my life.
6. I can ride a horse. In fact its a passion.
7. I boulder. It is by far on of the few things that completely clears my head of all my worries and anxiety.
8. I am addicted to throw pillows.
9. I hate noise. This one make me laugh considering I have three kids and love kids in general.
10. Having a newborn baby is one of my favorite things in the world.

Day No 5- A place I would live but haven't-

This one is easy. A quaint town rich in history in Ireland or Europe. It would be a small house hundreds of years old. Just me and my books.

Day No 6- Some one who fascinates me and why? I am going to pass on this one for personal reasons. It not a particular person in a part of my generation and their behavior.

Day No. 7- What tattoos do I have and their meanings?

I have three. The first was a very rash decision rebelling. It is flor de le and it  symbolizes the working class of women in France. This hold huge significance to me as I am a hard worker and I come from a line of incredibly hard working well accomplished women.

The second says, "Forgiveness doesn't excuse their behavior. It prevents the from destroying your heart." This one means a lot. I have grown and continue to grow to forgive and move forward with my past as a child and most recently as a wife. There is a talk by a President of my church who made tis tattoo even more meaningful.

The third is the semi-colon. I have struggled with sever depression and anxiety my entire life and have choose to get the help I need to overcome this. I still have my ups and downs. I still get worked up in certain situations but  I have and continue to learn that I can cope and overcome each of  those moments.

Day No. 8- A book I love and one I didn't. I have never read a book I didn't like. Wait, I m lying. 1989 was horrible, thanks SJ (freshman English teacher)! I can get lost in just about any book.

Day No. 9- Skipping.

Day No. 10- I don't dislike a fruit. Not yet anyway!

What is "Rest" Exactly?!

For those of you who didn't know I just had a hysterectomy (partial)!!!! 

I was under the assumption that it would be a fairly quick recovery with one nights stay in the hospital. I was so, so, so wrong! It has been an uphill climb from day one. 

To start, I hate hospitals. Since my near one month stint in one a couple of years ago.... I was so anxious to be out not thinking or considering of what the painful consequences may be for me when I got home. first off I am so stubborn! I refuse t sit down when I am home and have too. All thanks to painkillers, I could suppress the pain and move around as freely as I would like.... BAD IDEA! It was so hard to watch my mom doing things around my house. I wanted to get up and help her. I have a whole routine I am now settled into with keeping the house picked up and I really wanted to do that. So silly I know. I had people over, did studies and helped around the house! I did no sleeping at all. 

On the second week my in-laws came into town to help. Again it was nearly impossible to have them cleaning. I would get up at 2:00 AM so that I could re-do the kitchen and take my father-in-laws wash cloth out of the sink because the germs terrify me. I also became obsessed with the bathrooms and the laundry. For once in my life I am caught up with laundry.... We all have a system in our closets and it is working!!!!! I was terrified to lose that... I feel like if I lose it I will never ever get it back. It's a huge accomplishment on my part (happy dance). 

Linda, the laundry you folded and put in a basket is still waiting for Hubby to put away in the corner of our bedroom. It has been picked over many times and I am pretty sure nothing is folded in it anymore. Lesson learned, I've stayed caught up with the rest of the laundry. 

It so happens that during my recovery I had a family member pass away that lives here in Colorado. I decided that I would prepare and go to the funeral on my own with all three kids and get the house ready for my Grandparents to stay with me for a few days. It was the first time they would be seeing our new house and I really wanted them to love it and be proud of us for the big step forward we took moving here to Colorado. WORST IDEA. My lack of sleep and "rest" as the doctors keep calling it finally caught up with me. I started experiencing complications and the more I moved around the worse it got. Google is the most terrifying thing ever.... I reached out to friends and family who have had a hysterectomy and everyone assured me that what I was experiencing was NOT normal. In comes my first visit to the doctor. 

Did I mention that decided to use the doctor that saw me when I was pregnant with Madalyn and happens to be nearly an hour away.  I made what now felt like a trek into Colorado Springs to go see what was happening to me. 

According to my Dr. I needed to take it easy and I was going to be totally fine. I just needed to "rest." Now of course I was dealing with some new symptoms from my exam which I felt were perfectly normal. I was down for a day! By the next day I was up and at it again. My grandparents where here I was excited to see them, show them the house and just spend some quality time with them..... They stayed the night and went on to my Great-Uncles house the next day to help with the funeral. 

On that next day I literally thought my guts were falling out of me..... I was terrified. Hubby was terrified. I am on the phone with the doctors office trying to explain to them what is happening! I called family and friends who have experienced this and felt after reasonable deductions that I was not going to die and that my guts where more then likely still intact. I decided to stick with a doctors appointment the next day instead of a visit to the ER. This made lots of people nervous. And there I went the next day back to Colorado Springs (with Hubby this time) to find out what on earth was happening to me? Turns out I was losing the clotting agent from surgery. Nothing to alarming BUT, I need to "rest." Needless to say I would not be attending the funeral and Brent would be staying home to keep me on lock-down. It also meant that my Grandparents came the day after the funeral and made sure I stayed upstairs in a lying down position, kind of.... I still did the laundry. They were here with me from Saturday morning until Tuesday morning. I actually slept on Monday, all day as in I went to bed in the morning and didn't wake up until four in the afternoon. A total shock seeing as since the day of surgery I have been a complete insomniac and have not slept at all. 

I am surviving on minimal amounts of sleep and changing my clothes three times a night! How can you be so cold and then all of a sudden be so hot? This symptom is miserable by the way. Top three of the worst symptoms of anything, ever.

What I did't know was that Monday was a precursor to what was about to happen. By Tuesday at noon I was weak, exhausted and in an insane amount of pain.  I literally could not carry Olivia up the stairs. I could hardly get myself up them to be honest. I dug out the thermometer and checked to see if I had a fever and I did.  I knew this time I needed to go to the ER. Even when Hubby suggested I go to Urgent Care something inside of me said, NO! When he got home I got up and drove myself to the ER (Thank you, Holly Ghost). 

Just a quick note, every time I called my doctor or went in they ask if I had been experiencing a fever! With out hesitation my immediate response was, no. Turns out I should actually check for that symptom when calling a doctor.  

When I got there and the Doctor did the initial exam  he thought my appendix may have an infection. Apparently I displayed every classic symptom of this scenario. I was dehydrated and beat up. I was staring down the barrel of another surgery, fantastic! Turns out after a ton of tests and a CT scan that it was not in fact my appendix it was an viral infection in my lower intestines. There is no way urgent care would have found that. It took a CT scan to find what was going on. I would have displayed those "classic" symptoms and been sent on to the ER (again, thank you Holly Ghost). That was an additional $100 we didn't have to spend. I was packed full of anti-nausea medicine and something for the pain and sent home. Don't worry I didn't drive. Hubby came to get me and we left my car there until today in-fact. I was also sent home with strict instructions to "rest"! I felt like a truck ran me over yesterday. I continued with the fever and added the additional symptom of not being able to hold anything down. 

Did you know that if you drink the syrup of a caned fruit it coats your stomach so that you can hold down fluids? Yup, you read that right, the nurse at my Doctors office told me that. She also said that water is the hardest on your stomach in these situations. Who would have thought. 

I was told I may have to go back in the evening to have another bag of fluid. No way was I doing that again. I forced liquids in and breathed through it to keep them down in the evening. I am feeling better today and am so ready for all this to be over. Turns out Olivia is sick and home with me and we are "resting" as best as we possibly can. 

So, what is rest exactly? I still have no idea. I suppose it is getting the day to sit all by myself and not move a muscle. When I am able to accomplish that am I "resting?" I cant turn my brain off from all things that need to be done. I can't turn the girls off even when the sound of another human breathing makes my head feel like its going to explode.... I am still so perplexed by such a word when you are a wife and a mother. 

Now the one element I have failed to mention is how I have held all of this together after our family has left? Thank God for my beautiful Sisters' from the Relief Society at Church. I am tearing up as I write this as I have never had anything like this in my entire life.... I have never had so much support from other women, EVER! I could not have held it together if it weren't for all of them.... Heart attacks on my front door (thank you to the girls' in Young Women's) and food for my family and I every night. A text, message or call from at least one person a day just checking to see if I need anything. Other moms who have their own kids to raise stopping what they are doing to help take care of mine! What an amazing blessing. Never in my wildest dreams could I have ever imagined this kind of support. Especially since they have only known me a couple of months!

When I started writing this I didn't mean for it to be any kind of testimony, it just happened. It was was supposed to be about my experience and to articulate how ridiculous  I can be.......Again, thank you, Holly Ghost. I want to thank each and every one of you for your thoughts, your prayers and your support! I would have not made it through this mentally intact without all of you. There are no amount of thank you's that could ever really show you how much I appreciate each and every one of you. 

Love -N

Ps- I am still doing the laundry! 

Tile Talk...... Your kitchen wants you to read this!

When you are ready to purchase a home (or build) where is the first place you go? Many years ago the answer would be an Architect. Today most of our generation runs out to the local Costco's of homes. You know the major national building companies building neighborhoods across the board. You will scorer the communities as you would the isles at the grocery store trying pick out the one exact thing with all the right ingredients.

I am here to tell you just like your food it will never be perfect unless you build it yourself. What do we do you ask? Find the one model that is almost everything you want and then you can spice it up. There are so many ways to do this but the first place I would start IF this was not done in the design process and you have a bare wall back splash is start there. Today our generation loves living in open space and entertaining. It is no longer the age of room division and our kitchens are not only about their functionality and equipment offered for your enjoyment and foods pleasure BUT these spaces now need to blend and be a living space! They need to be beautiful. They need to make a statement that represents you. 

Now before you unpack all your decor, start with your back-splash. You can take a basic kitchen and add a traditional, relaxed, modern or contemporary flare. For instance the images below came from a blog I follow and the person was asking what to do with their back-splash (images source: Remodelaholic). The follower stated, "I need ideas for backsplash, I'm not sure if to use glass tile or stone & also need advise for what color tone to go with. Cabinets are espresso. Any help is appreciated." 

My description of this space is basic. Its a good solid foundation for nearly any type of back-splash tile out there. The Cabinets are an espresso craftsman style cabinet front which is a very basic design and can be molded into many different design styles. The movement in the granite is a jack of all trades. Just a note, the hardware and appliances suggests that this particular blogger would like something a little more modern. 

There are many tile materials out there and walking into a showroom can sometimes be overwhelming. I'm going to give a brief description of the types of tile material out there to help you make sense of the way things are sorted inside a tile showroom. 

• Ceramic Tile- This tile is made of clay and hardened with hear. This tile is one of most affordable types of tile materials on the market. This is also the most delicate man made materials on the marker. It breaks easily when a heavy item is dropped on the floor or hit hard enough on the wall. Typically cannot be used within a commercial setting. 
• Porcelain Tile- This tile is also made of clay but fired at a a higher heat. The toughness, strength, and translucence of porcelain arises mainly from the formation of glass and the mineral mullite within the fired body at these high temperatures. Porcelain Tile can be used in residential and commercial applications. It is a tough product and can survive most household abuse. This tile can be rated for many different uses and weights. 
• Through Body Porcelain Tile- This material has all the same qualities of a basic Porcelain Tile however the color of the tile is dyed to be the same color has the base/foundation color all the way through the product. Because of this feature if the tiles was to chip or crack, that would be hard to do, it will be a similar color making the damage less noticeable.
• Glass Tile- This is pretty self explanatory. It can not be used on floors. 
• Metal Tile- This happens to be one of my personal favorites right now. You can achieve such elegance and interest with these tiles. 
• Beside the man made materials that are on the market there is a nearly limitless array of natural stone products out there to choose from.  The basics and most popular are travertine, marble, slate, river rock and granite. 

Now here in order to portray a style/design depends on material and pattern. For instance a travertine tile (in almost every pattern) gives you a casual rustic look same goes for slate. Depending on the types of marble Your come can move from a very traditional look to an ultra contemporary look. What helps determine what the marble will do inside you space is cut, color, and surface finish (i.e. a polished material vs. unpolished material). The river rock decorative tiles are a very relaxed and rustic look most of the time but again can be very contemporary. When you approach the glass category there is a polished or matte look. There are also large glass tile all the way through the mosaic tiles. There are also the mixed mosaic with glass and other materials, typically stone. It is my opinion that one should use glass mosaics carefully and cautiously as they can look very busy and not allow your eye to focus on the room as a whole but instead stand out and force your eye to that space covered in the tile only.

Here is the link to a board on my Pinterest account to show you some ideas and what the materials look like in different settings as well as cabinet colors and countertop materials.

My Simple Beauty: Tile Idea Board

Advertisement Note: I sell tile and happen to be an Interior Designer. If you are interested in either of these services I would be honored to help!!!! 

Love -N

Serum based natural skin care.

On one afternoon I was browsing the natural skin care section in a store. I was telling the woman who helped me that I had picked up a serum that I really liked and she started telling me that she was an exclusive user of serums for her skin care. She was an older woman who had amazing elasticity in her skin  and she was glowing. I heeded her advice and decided to make the investment into serums only for my skin care. As you all know I am a product junkie and am constantly out there trying new method to try and care for my skin from aging and my acne that attacked me during pregnancy from ever coming back.

I still fallow my internal skin care regimen and now after surgery am realizing it so important more now then ever. My skin has been so dull and lacked life after my recent surgery and diagnosis of anemia.

Each of us have different types of skin, lifestyles (the outside factors) and resources (it can get expensive). It was recommended to me by my dermatologist  that I use CerVe facial cleanser morning and night. If I am wearing heavy makeup I will use an all natural makeup cleansing cloth. I love ones that are argon oil based. I am not married to any particular brand. I am currently using one by Berts Bees and I am not a fan. It is definitely at the bottom of my list and I will not likely purchase again. I use Vitamin E Oil to remove my eye makeup.

Once I am done washing my face I pat it dry, sprtits my face with an all natural toner by Analou Naturals Fruit Stem Cell Science (ANFSC) and start with my serums an topical regimen.  In the morning and evening I apply ANFSC Revitalize Serum.  I chose this because of the stem cell factor. I used to get stem cell facials and the results were so amazing. This ‘miracle in a bottle’ instantly goes to work with potent Fruit Stem Cells, BioActive 8 Berry Complex, and Resveratrol Q10, repairing cellular damage and discoloration for brighter, even skin tone and smooth texture with fewer fine lines and wrinkles. You will notice that I have choose to go the age defying route as preventative maintenance. It has a wonderful texture and feels very moisturizing. The second serum I am using is by the company Devita. The Optimal Rejuvenation. This stuff is life a little fountain of youth. This little miricle combines DMAE (helps to lift) and Alpha Lipoic Acid (super anti-oxidant), with active amino peptides, nutrients, and enzymes to create a powerful, free-radical scavenger and all-over anti-aging super serum. It also encourages healthy cell turnover, with face, eye, and neck area appearing firmer, while the look of fine lines and wrinkles are minimized. It helps to revitalize and restore that taut feel and youthful glow. I also use their Revitalizing Eye Lift Creme. In the morning I finish off with a primer and tinted moisturizer and in the evening a facial oil. I am currently using Maracuja Oil by tarte. 

Love - N 

Madalyn is raising money for LOVE.... Please help her and donate!

Donate to her cause!

A letter from Madalyn......

"I'm joining millions of others to help save lives with the American Heart Association!

At my school, I'm learning how I can help make a difference by raising lifesaving donations to help kids with heart disease.  I'm also learning about my own heart, and how to keep it healthy. And I'm getting active!

I'm excited about raising money for other kids - kids with hearts that don't exactly work right and to help fund new medicines and treatments to be discovered.

Please help me make a difference!

Love,

Maddy"

Suburban Goddess...

I am proud to introduce, Suburban Goddess! This a public forum where we as a community of wives and mothers can offer our expertise to each other. A place for resources that families need. I live by the saying, "It takes a village," and all our lives can be enhanced with the support from contributors and readers of the blog.

Anyone can contribute. Do you have a recipe that you love? Please submit it so that every family that stumbles across the Suburban Goddess can try it. Is there a cleaning schedule that works perfectly or a chore schedule that keeps your family in order? PLEASE share with all us mommy's out there. Are you a mom with a small business or service that enhances the family and life then please submit a description of what you do, a brief biography, a picture and how our readers can contact you. All things are welcome.

I am so excited about this and look forward to all us moms and women working together to keep our homes happy and healthy!!!

Love, N

Mac & Cheese for grownups!!!

By no means do I claim I invented this little comfort food for a cold night but I have definitely perfected my recipe. It is rich and creamy, gooey and makes your belly smile :)!!!

• I start with a base of Annies organic Mac & Cheese. This is really to tick my kids into thinking they are getting box mac & cheese...... (they are so easily fooled).
• Now its time to make it more appropriate for grownups! I add a penne pasta ( you could use any kind. 
• once the pasta is cooked I use portobello cream of mushroom (Trader Joes). 
• Next up is the milk. I add just enough to saturate the noodles and make it mildly watery. 
• A dash of butter. 
• Once this is warm I start adding extra sharp white cheddar cheese along with a mild cheddar blend (hand graded with love by my manna banana). 
• I then sauteed an orange bell pepper and toss that in to the delectable mix. 
• I added chopped smoked turkey. 
• The golden stuff, New Mexico Hatch Roasted Green Chili. 
• Once that is nice and melted I put it all into the bread pan and fill up to only 1/2 the pan. I add a layer of provolone. 
• The I finish filling the pan top with hand smashed cracker crumbs and toss into the oven to bake to blend it all together. 

Enjoy!!

Love -N

She is definitely becoming a well rounded lady!

I cannot begin to express how thankful I am for my faith and the emphases it puts on families. Because of the change in my and attitude toward how important the family unit it is it has begun to bring a sense of wholeness or completeness to my daughters life.

First off you need the back story. Madalyn was by far is still is by far the most affected from my divorce with her father. She remembers us being married and has a huge sense of loyalty to that past family. An immense amount of pressure is put on her by her paternal side of the family when it comes to loyalty to her father. This makes it very hard for her to let go and just enjoy her family. As an eight year old at times it feels as though she is caring the weight of the world on her shoulders. As a mother this is the hardest thing I have ever watched. It takes a large amount of self control in order to keep my cool and not lash out like I used to at the parties involved. Today I pray. I pray for them personally that their hearts are softened to our new "family" dynamic. I pray that we can all find peace with each other. I pray that success is brought to my ex-husband so that he is able to find some independence and help support our daughters. I say these prayers alone and with the kids so that they are aware that I have compassion for the man they call daddy.

Since we have joined the church I have seen such a change within our family dynamic (meaning inside my house). But one of the people that I have seen make such a huge change is my darling Madalyn. She is happy. Genuinely HAPPY! She has little worries then she did before on a daily basis. She is enjoying her life. She is enjoying her friends. She is building healthy relationships with her peers. She is so respectful. She is compassionate for everyone around her. She relies on her faith to get her through her hard and emotional times.

For instance she had her second visit with her father and paternal grandmother over this past weekend. Upon drop off she just came into the house and jumped back into our family routine. This never happened before. There was always some acting out when she came home. Then later that night both her and Julia were upset with their dads current situation (I will keep this private as it is his story to tell). They have a fear he is leaving for love and they are being lost in the shuffle. I walked in the room and through their tears they were praying. My soul was rocked to the core. My daughters are using their faith for comfort, for blessing and to for others. Now in order to calm them down Hubby and I both talked to them and then I continued to pray for them including all the moving factors in their fathers life hoping the lord blesses him on the girls behalf.

Not only is her faith helping her through the day and not only is she relying on prayer she has made a conscious decision to study and try and live by the gospel. Her attitude has done a 180. Her level of respect for Hubby and me has made an immeasurable improvement. She is putting others before her self. She is helpful around the house. Her focus in school is phenomenal. Her study habits have improved and she is doing homework everyday as soon as she walks through the door and when she is finished she helps Julia.

She has also made the conscious decision to study and take the lessons with the missionaries. She meets with them weekly and we always prepare together the night before. She is an active participant and soaks it all in!!! Its just amazing to watch. She is preparing herself for baptismal. She is building her testimony day by day.

I am so thankful for my faith. For what it has done for my family and my children.

Love -N

The Law of Chastity... REAL Talk!

Tonight I had the privilege of studying with what is becoming one of my most favorite families. Tonight's topic, drum roll please,................... "The Law Chastity." First off what a difficult topic to discuss period! Two, what a difficult topic to discuss with young adults! Third, how is it not more difficult to talk to two young adults of both genders. Now that we have got that out of the way lets list the five laws of chastity.

1. Adultery. 
2. Impure thoughts. 
3. Homosexuality
4. Modesty
5. Being pure prior to marriage. 

I think all are self explanatory and I am not going to use this particular post as a lesson but as a testimony. I will however list biblical references at the end of this post and encourage you to have a read and prayer. 

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience and testimony. This is not meant to offend anyone or for judgement to be cast. It my real life story I am choosing to share with the world in order to testify that the gospel is true. 

As a convert to the church I grew up in the "American" society of what was acceptable, popular, what as a teenager I thought was sooooo cool! Boy was I wrong! I made the ultimate poor decision to give my virtue prior to marriage as a teenager. Why you ask? Well to start I was in a "serious," and I say that very loosely, relationship. As most teenage girls are today, and I imagine it has only worse, was pressured like you would not believe.... Not only by my said boyfriend but my girlfriends! Everyone was doing it! Like most girls I thought at a very young age, he was it. The man of my dreams. We were going to be married SOMEDAY so, why wait? Give him what he wants! Well I am here to tell you that little fairy-tale was far from reality. 

I, again as a teenager entered into another "serious" relationship. This relationship ultimately became my first marriage. It started the same way ultimately having premarital relations. We eventually moved into together. AND you guessed it, I ended up pregnant! I was devastated. I thought I ruined my life at the young age of twenty. My family was so angry and they thought I ruined my life. I was angry. I refused to accept it and it took a long time to come around to the idea of becoming a mother. Yes, Madalyn was born out of wedlock. Now ultimately he felt he had to do the right thing. My family was saying I needed to do the right thing and we were married six months after my beautiful Madalyn was born. Now I say beautiful because she is the only thing good from this situation. At the time I thought I loved this man and I think there were times I did. We were two completely different people with two completely different sets of ideals that had not had a child this world would have fizzled out. As you guessed it after four years of active marriage and one year of separation we were DIVORCED!!! With one very young one year old daughter. 

Now sit back and think about it. Every child wants to know the story of how they came into this world and we has parents want to tell them. "it was so special the day I found out we were having a baby." They don't want to hear that their mother through a complete fit. Shoved he father and screamed out how he ruined her life. Ultimately we, meaning Madalyn and I, have persevered. 

For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

Ephesians 5:5

My decisions to break the Law of Chastity is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. Bringing and innocent child into this world and ripping her life apart through divorce is something I will have to live with the rest of my life. Madalyn was never my punishment. She was my blessing. My consequence is that I get to look at her everyday knowing that I am the reason she comes from a broken home. Because of my bad decisions two of my children will always have two separate homes to live in. They will always feel divided and deep within my heart that is because of my poor choices. It is because I choose not to live within the laws of the Gospel. I love my daughters with all my heart and soul and ache for them everyday that they have two parents who never see eye to eye. Because they have seen their father date countless women. Bond with these women's children only to not be allowed to ever see them again. 

Did I learn, NO I did not. I was seeker attention of men to help the loneliness of being a single mother go away.... I was a serial dater with never any intent on settling down. That was of course until I met the man whom I truly love and married because I wanted too and I wasn't pleasing anyone but him and me. What was I left with before I met my husband. Shame. Loneliness. Emptiness. A complete disgrace and lack respect for myself. I showed the world I was completely insecure.

I can only urge people of the next generation and my children s generation to save themselves and live pure. In the end a great happiness will get to be experienced that not many today have the privilege to say they have experienced. What I can say I am grateful for is I now have the gospel to share with my daughters so they can walk down a better path in life then I did and experience true happiness.....

In the name of Jesus Christ - Amen

Love -N

Biblical texts:

• • 
  Matthew 19:5–9; Genesis 2:24 (marriage relationship is sacred)
• • 
  Titus 2:4–12 (instructions for chastity)
• • 
  1 Corinthians 7:2–5; Ephesians 5:28 (loyalty to spouse)
• • 
  Revelation 14:4–5 (blessings for obedience to the law of chastity)
• • 
  Proverbs 31:10 (virtue praised)
• • 
  Alma 39:9 (do not go after the lusts of your eyes)
• • 
  D&C 121:45 (let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly)
• • 
  Alma 42:16 (repentance does not come without punishment)
• • 
  Alma 42:30 (do not excuse yourself for sinning)
• • 
  D&C 58:42–43 (the repentant confess and forsake their sins)

What does charity mean to you?

Well with the ward missionaries this evening doing a family study with a wonderful family the topic was chairity. As we were walking in their door I was given the topic and like most of you I'm sure you were thinking definition one or two. 

I love being surprised with such a topic. It's the kind of thing where you expect one thing and something entirely different happens! How exciting.... 

 Think about it for just a second what does the word chairity mean to you? Think from deep within to try and understand it. Try to feel it from deep within your heart, that part that connects to your soul. 

As I started to think about this lesson the first thing that came to mind was, "love thy neighbor." As we studied although that may be apart of it,  I was somewhat wrong! 

On this evening we studied Moroni chapter 7:45-47. 

And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail--

But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

Moroni 7:45-47

Our Heavenly Father gave us the biggest chairity of them all. He gave us siners his only child who sacrificed himself for our sins. What a true and amazing chairity for all of us.  A chairity so we can all have eternal life! He has taught us that of all the things it's not true charity unless we do it enthusiastically with an open heart and a pure mind. 

I challenge each if you who read this to give a piece of you in chairity. I would love to hear all about it! 

Love - N

A letter to my daughters.

 To the most special girls in my life this letter is for you. It's is a letter I will not give to you one but will share with the world. One day as each of you have the proper time in you life to receive this I will happily share it with you. For as you mother I know deep in my heat there will be a time at individual times for each of you that these words will be right for that moment. 

Dear Madalyn Aneda, Julia Elizabeth and Olivia Bella;

How could could I start this letter without expressing the love I have for each one of you. Each love different but each love so powerful within me that there in a genuine equalality to it all. You three girls brighten my world each and everyday. You have molded me one by one into the woman I have become today. With each of you I strived to achieve more and more so that you would never desire for nothing. I've starved to give you everything a child needs; love, family, security, happiness and never ending fun. Most importantlyof all things my love for you and sharing my love for God. A love that you will never understand until one day you become mothers. As I look at each of you I see bits and pieces of me and your fathers. I see the good and the challenges. I see independence. I perservieence. AND all though you are crazy and young girls, I see success. I don't see it for you because that's what I want for you. I see it because it bbeams like a bright light from each one if your souls! 

Madalyn, you changed my world. You took me from a young and self entitled child and made me see that there was something, someone so much more important then anything.... So much more important them me and my own life. You took me and softened me into a mother. We grew together, we managed together. We weathered all our storms you and me. You are the most like me! You are strong yet sensitive. You need control and you always want to know. As we interacte day to day I see your father and your step father. I see how we as three parents are doing our best to mold you into someone we can continue to be proud of. It is my dream and desire to watch you grow. To watch you become a confident and respectful person. To recognizing your flaws and admitted when you are wrong.  All things I've struggled with through my life and naturally I want you to be a better person then I could ever be, that REALLY goes for all three of you!

It is my dream to watch you three walk you down many isles of life... The day you graduate high school. The day I watch you receive your college degree. The day I get to see you pure in life and pure in heart as you walk down the isle to start you independent life away from me and your fathers and build your own family. The day that excites me and terrifies me the most is the day I get to see you become mothers! 

Madalyn, I want to apologize to you for things you have been through, you struggle everyday trying to be apart of a blended family. The maturity you exude is remarkable and I know that like the 

Lord watched over me through a very difficult childhood He is watching over you guiding you and one day will ultimately he will bring you peace to be settled in such a wonderful family. I am sorry I changed your life the day I left your father but I want you to know I did it for you girls. I did for your futures. I did it because I loved you more then myself and more then what people were going to think of us. 

Julia,  you are my blessing. You remind me all things good. All things innocencent. I respect you so much as a person. You demeanor, you unconditional love and your willingness to accept anyone. Your willingness to sacrifice for for others happiness is beyond your years. I know from deep with in my soul you will always be kind and genuine at heart. You bring light to my life every minuet of everyday. All I have to do is look at you and you clear my woes and worries. You were sent to me from Gid to be my angel. When God decided to bless you with me you He gave me a true miracle. 

I couldn't live my life without you. You are my inner peace. Looking at you brings me pure happiness and joy. You bring joy to all of us. You are spitting image of your father but every part if you is Brent. We all believe you are a gift from God sent to make each one of us better. 

I know you will do great things in life. When I look at you you shine with unending success.... You are the closet there is to perfect and I thank God everyday for picking me." There is not enough thanks to go around for bringing you into my life and our village that has helped raise you. I can sure wait to see you grown. What I sure can't wait for is to see how successful I know you will become. Successful in your faith and in your life! You are a true miracle... And I love you. 

Oaky baby O, what a doll you are. My beatiful baby. The last baby I will ever carry. You look like a doll. You act like a doll. You keep me guessing everyday. You grow and develop so fast, faster then I ever imagined. You are my miracle. Your personality leaves me guessing. Your smile is an unending one. You mischief keeps me on my toes. I can't take my eyes off you for a second and I love when you hold me in your arms. I see so much strength within your little heart! I see so much ambition in your soul.

I know you will be a challenge but I look forward to every challenge  you put in our path. Because in the end we will all grow together. We will be strong we will always be together. And I will always love you. 

Growing all of you in my belly was the definition of perfection. There is nothing better then looking at each one if you on day one a drinking your life into my soul. As your mom I want to map out which road you take and which hand you'll hold. But I know you will make your own way. You all will make your own way. I can only hope that I will lead  by the best example for you. I will provide a life you will want for your own children. I hope you provide a better life for them then I did for you. I wish and pray for your success. Because you always deserve kinder, more love, and something better then I could ever provide. 

You girls are my life. My heaven. My moon. My stars. My everything. 

Love -Mommy

We have got the blues...

Ladies and Gents the the news is out. It is official the color trends for 2015 are here (okay they have been for a while, I needed to form an opinion first) The upcoming color of the season is blue. Yup, blue! Now I am actually a huge fan of blue. Tommy Hilfiger did a living room in blue years ago and I still have that magazine cut out filed away in my favorite things. Blue can be a very graceful and relaxing color. Blue can also be elegant and timeless if used properly. Now if your watching the run ways or picked up a recent decor magazine or PB catalog you are aware this is the color of the season.

I tend to be a colorless designer! I rarely use color in my own personal designs. However, I do use blue. We currently have a blue/grey tuffed sofa in our great-room. In this picture looks grey but it does have a very dark blue undertone to it. We also have a cream and blue wool rug that accents the space perfectly. Using a color such a blue is a great way to define a space or ground your large open space in a very light room with the same color pallet throughout.

I consider blue one of the classics. In the early 2000's brown was the thing. Everything was painted some form of brown/beige. We have since moved into the grey movement. Blue happens to work well with these colors. In room set with the foundation of browns and beige is puts some richness into the room. It takes the room from the possibility of being bland into a room with some character. Blue adds a great amount of depth to brown. In my opinion in adds a great deal of depth in the medium tone woods like oaks. It works really well with woods that have gold and red undertones. Adding some blue to a beige room can add some pops of life and places to rest your eyes on something nice and pleasing to the eye.

When looking at the room to the left it could be very bland and monotone without places to rest your eyes. The depth of the wood in the center of the space grounds the space. The linen like fabric of the curtains that are similar to the wall color make the space feel open and airy. The colors work well with all the light in the room. Its not to bright or to dark. If you look closer the sofa is also the same color as the walls often times as a designer I will do this to make the space look visually empty and open. It is an optical illusion to enlarge the space. the accents in the space such as the wood furniture helps add the foundation to the space as well as definition. What was also done well is the pop of light color in the throws. Notice three were used in the trow. The deeper brown ties into the wood furnishings. The white in the pillows helps reflect and add the light to the space. Both the brown and the white add much needed dimension to the sofa. Then there is the muted blue pillows. They add a little bit of life into the space. Just enough interest that they blend and pop all at the same time. The add life in what would otherwise be a colorless and boring space. With out this new color being introduced into the room the room would fail and lack any kind of dimension whatsoever.

One of my favorite ways to use a nice muted, rich and grey blue is on a wall. I have done this personally in one of my own homes. I did so to define a large open space that had tons of light. We used the space to watch tv and lounge around and the deepness of the color worked well in muting the light, defining the space and adding character. It was a major conversation starter. The color helps almost anything on the wall pop. using the blacks, rich dark browns and the medium tones all work well together. The white really makes a statement on the wall and it will lend itself well to gold or silver accents within the home.

I tend to always lean toward the grey tones in the blues. I love blues that are rich and creamy. They will do well in just about any space and I happily have been and will continue to use blue as one of my signature colors.

Click here to view the Benjamin Moore Color Trends 2015 color palate. You will notice that this deep blue is in there along with others.

Happy decorating.

Love -N

My "Dirty Thirty" was not so dirty AND I LOVED every second of it.

What is a Dirty Thirty anyway? A plan to get drunk and forget what it feels like to close a decade of you life. Now I am not judging those who have enthusiastically celebrated their 30th birthday (that is my disclaimer)!

All I know is I am so HAPPY with the way my 30th birthday was spent. First off I haven't slept in days, that whole sick kiddo (includes hubby) thing is really cramping my style. So, the one thing I asked for was sleep.... lol! Yes, sleep! I was able to take a nap in the morning and in the afternoon. It rocks I know. First of all I was blessed to get up to three crazy little girls who are recovering from the stomach flu and be greeted by cinnamon rolls (my favorite) with 29 candles and a lovely little card. The only one who refused to pretend I wasn't 30 is my dear Julia, she is just way to honest for her own good. She won't even lie about my age to help me!!! what a little cutie pie. Today was pajama day at my house so there will be no pictures of me celebrating with my naps but they were fabulous.

My Birthday Card

Now its only taken four-years and nearly three years of marriage but Hubby finally got it right in the gift department. Yes ladies and gentleman I get to shop for my birthday, I knew he was going to give me X amount of dollars to spend for my birthday but this darling little card had some extra cash in it too. He gets better and better each day! He actually had it all planned out with the girls and it was so cute. While I got to be snuggled up in my RH fur blanket (I carry this thing around like a blankie) I was sung Happy Birthday, shared delicious bakery cinnamon rolls and opened up my card. Madalyn reassured me I wasn't old. Olivia just jumped on me and Julia told me the candles were wrong that I am indeed 30! We all sat wrapped up together with my happy birthday plates and shared our sugar packed delicious breakfast. All the while Hubby made sure the girls knew mommy needed to sleep today and that's what she wants for her birthday. They even cleaned up the mess....

Love notes from my family. 

So on top of naps today God brought me birthday blessings too. As I shared with all of you in a previous post an old friend reached out to me to start studying the Gospel. I have not been able to send her a Book of Mormon to her because of sick kiddos so I directed her to the app I love so much with all our scriptures and tools. I also let her know in on a little secret, you can listen to it too. She asked if I could tell her where to start and in fact I had to ask myself the same question, where did I start? I did it backwards and read the whole Book before I ever spoke to someone. So I asked God to help direct me to direct her. My prayers were answered and he first directed me to our Thirteen Articles of faith. I felt it would be good for her to know the basic principles of the Faith. She responded by saying it really helped clarify it all for her. She then asked what was next and I felt compelled to start with the book, Gospel Principles. Since I like doing things in chronological order (silly I know since it does not work that way with the Bible at all)! It seemed the best to me because Chapter One starts with the foundation of it all, our Heavenly Father. After all what is religion or faith without a good solid foundation. So I assigned Alma Chapter 7, Alma Chapter 34, 3 Nephi Chapter 9 and Mormon Chapter 3. Gospel Principles only refers to verses but I felt when I studied I really grasped what I was reading when I just read the whole chapter. I applied the same principle to my very first pupil. What a blessing to get share this all with her on this day. I am opening a new decade of my life and she is opening her hear to a new faith. I was able to help her receive a testimony that there is a God and he is in all things of our lives.

My second gift from God of the day was speaking to another old friend. We shared our experiences past and current. I shared with him my struggle with PTSD in the hopes that he could help understand what someone in his life is suffering throug. He is a religious man of a different faith but I was able to share scriptures with him in relation to building a great foundation for your faith, life and relationship. I let him know about my favorite scripture (just in case you forgot Ether 4:15) He asked  me to share it with him as he happened to have a Book of Mormon at home. We were able to talk further and share a few more scriptures. He said it helped and I know that it was such a blessing for me to be able to share my faith and love with these people. They made my day feel meaningful. Now for the rest of my life I have a great story to write and share about my 30th birthday.

Now the icing on the cake was this evening when I received a text message from my girlfriend who is studying at 10:51pm and it said, "Reading what you gave me really sunk in and put me at peace with God. Thank you for the readings and the study. Its an un-explainable feeling I felt." WOW! I want to thank her for that. I want to thank her for reaching out to me. I want to thank her for allowing me to be blessed in helping her in her search to find God and our Savior. But most of all for sharing such a deep and intimate personal experience. What a powerful moment for her and what a wonderful gift for my birthday that she shared it with me.

I certainly don't feel like I am missing out by not experiencing the stereotypical 30th birthday. I am so blessed and pleased with my simple day it could not have been more perfect. I want to thank all of you who shared in the day with me and made it such an amazing and powerful birthday.

Love -N